Inspired..

I remembered something today after reading the comment on my last post. Something that I had felt a little ashamed of, but when I think about it, it makes me smile, so I'll share it here.

If you are reading this and are at one with me on this journey of mine than this little anecdote is for you (and for Rebekah of-course)

This takes place many moons ago, when I harbored dreams of a life on the stage, and was studying performing arts at uni. It was my first term, i was staying in halls, and hating every moment of it. One Friday I desperately wanted to go home. Home being a 6 hour train journey away.

I shoved enough clothes in the suitcase/rucksack and locked my door, ran to the station, jumped on the train.

When I got back on Monday, I was greeted by a serious (and very concerned) looking bursar.
"I have some really bad news for you"
My heart raced - I couldn't even imagine what this could be about.
"Your room has been ransacked!" He looked at me, trying to gage my reaction.
"We thought we would wait for you until we called the police.
The cleaners went in this morning and all your things are scattered across the room"

I ran upstairs to my tiny hutch of a room. One of the cleaners standing outside.
"I'll just have a look" I said
I felt this huge shame and embarrassment knowing what they might have come across.

I opened the door, and shut it behind me quickly.
Looking around I could see the chaos, the clothes everywhere. I had been in this huge rush and created a tornado like mess.

Opening the door to the bursar and cleaner I said.
"It's OK - nothings gone. Probably just a prank - I'll make sure I lock the door properly next time"
They looked bemused.
"No really I'm fine!"
"Ok then" The bursar said. "But if there is anything we can do, or if you change your mind, just call us"
"I will do."
I closed the door. Sat on my bed, and felt this mixture of humiliation, and relief.
I soon learnt to leave my bin outside the door, as this was a sign to the cleaners not to enter.

It is odd writing that. I realise retrospectively that I always made sure things were cleaned for others. My parents (who by the way are fanatically tidy), cleaners, visitors etc. What it has meant is that I have never developed a way of keeping things in order for myself.

Up to now.
Today I sorted out S's clothes, and involved him in the process. I sorted out the many 100's of books in the children's book case. I saw a friend, cleaned the kitchen, wrote some emails to work, cooked a Sunday roast, and now am writing this.

I feel positive; I feel like my life is changing, and best of all I feel it is possible to really change the bad habits of a lifetime. The tide is turning, and I have to make sure that I go with it.